cirque du pantsless

behold: a quiz from my arthurian romance night class [that i have since given the ax] and my answers (which were read aloud in either great amusement or great bitterness---i'll never know which)]:

Q. why did lancelot take the hair from the comb?

A. he was making his entrepreneurial debut as an elite wig-maker, specializing in the type for wee bald people (or average-height people with really small craniums). he boasts a celebrity clientele of gary coleman and the "egg that just wouldn't crack".

Q. why was lancelot's bed bloody?

A. a horse's head was placed there in the night by a corleone family member. YOU DON'T BETRAY THE FAMILY, CAPEESH?

there were more questions, but i can't 'member them.

oh! and a shoutout to crown_the_queen, who is the definition of fabulous and my first ub chum!!! thank you for such a fun lunch, m'lady!!! heart heart heart heart.

i'm off to shovel. have a nice night everyone!

mood: finished that damn paypuh.

khepfan05

1. What are your nicknames?
Peaches (Mom), Boo or Pookie (Aunt Kathy), Pantsless Offspring [Pantsless; Sanspants; Sansiepansie; P.O.; BabyP; SansP; and when she thinks she's being hilarious, Pantsie Bear] (Momma P.) Ambs (Childhood BFF Jen.... and now Kristie has taken a liking to it.) Da-Boop (Dad...ugh.) Ambe (pronounced 'Am-bhey', by high-school friends. Meh.) BamBam (Randoms.)

2. What do you do before bedtime?
Showah. The Daily Show. The Colbert Report. Avoid Homeworks. Ridiculous youtube. Attempt Homeworks. Go back to youtube. Sleepies.

3. What fandom(s) are you most into at the moment?
I rekindled my flame for Myrna Loy, but does Minnie count as an actual fandom? Haaaa. The X-Files = my heart.

4. What is your favorite [perfume] scent?
Jungle Gardenia and Femme. Chanel No. 5. Coco. Allure. I am an old lady, therefore I smell like one. On a slightly younger smelling side: PUMA, Sweet Pea and Sensual Amber (Bwah, not.) from Bath&Body Works.

5. What's your favorite [board] game ever?
Clue pwns all other board games.

6. What book you are reading now?
Rainbow's End: The Judy Garland Show by Steven Sanders that Martha sent me because old ladies think I'm cute and like sending me old movie stuff. I think Martha's cute: "i invested in a used hardback 1st edition that i had steve sign a little while ago .. you know .. we're geeks ... i know you'd understand ..  the paperback is waiting for you, young lady... " <3

7. Do you trust easily?
Mmmhmm. Boy, does that bite me in the coolie.

8. What was your first big fandom?
I remember diggin' The Mary Tyler Moore Show, I Love Lucy, Bewitched, I Dream of Jeanie, Mary Poppins (who flew Jen and I to the zoo), Rodgers and Hammerstein musicals...Then around age 6 I went full-blown old movie obsessed and became thoroughly outcast until I decided the only way to make friends was to do stupidASS things including, but not limited to: picking roadkill off the street and chasing my teacher with it, mooning the kids from opposite buses, running away and forming camp in our neighbor's woods, etc.

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
.............general discontentment with mah faaaathaaa.

10. What's your pet peeve?
Tongue-smacking, Stupidity, Political jargin, (I'd say know-it-alls, but sometimes I fit that bill and I look like an ass)

11. What's one childhood item that you still have with you today?
What don't I have from my childhood? I is a packrat.

12. What websites do you visit daily?
Facebook, E-mail, the Forum, Eljay, TWoP, Youtube,

13. Who are currently the most important people to you?
Mah family. Chums.

14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
She's a dollface!!

15. What’s the last song that got stuck in your head?
"Time For Some Campaignin'" I effing love jibjab. "Like the change we must change for the change we hold dear! I really like change, have I made myself clear?"

16. What’s your favorite item of clothing?
Ralph Lauren sweater cozie. Black jeans. Oh, and yesterday I found the long-sleeve I was obsessed with at age 12! It has a koala on it that says "Hug". LMAO.

17. You get to spend the day with one fictional character. Who?
THE SKINMAN. Mostly because if I kicked it with Mulder or Scully I'd be abducted/killed/voo-doo cursed/have my liver eaten by a strechy mutant/any variation thereof. Plus, Skinner is adorable and burly and Mmmmmmm.

18. What turns you on (in the gender/s of your choice, baby, this is the 21st century)?
Hew-muh. A good smile.

19. What would you like to achieve within the next 3 years?
To make it the hell outta college. A job that holds somewhat my interest, for the love of heaven.

20. What should you be doing right now.
.......napnaps. I...... hate paypuhs.

21. Pop? Jazz? Classic? Swing? Others?
Anything cranked out 60+ years ago. Assorted 90s one-hit-wonders. <33333

I tag Santa, Joe Biden, your mom, Steve From Yellowstone, your mom's mom, The King of Town, George Hurrell and Elia Kazan.

Hi.

Thinking it'll smell like an orgy,
Amber

PS, this might be the best letter I've ever penned. Except not really at all.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trading cards. ZOMGZNRD!!!!!!111!!!!!

http://www.inkworkscards.com/products/xfiles/xfilesbelieve/prod1.html

HAPPY BOIFDAY, DARLING!!!
I give you this shiz:



RHODA'S DAD LOVES TO DRY-HUMP HIM SOME OF THAT. GIGGIDY GIGGIDY.
Hilarious.
[Yes, I'm tacky enough to submit only this. You know you love it.]   

mood: nostalgic.

JENNIFER GAMBINO, AH LOOOOOOOOVES YOU.

I just received this e-mail from my childhood BFF: "So uhm, my life is a joke and I AM TRANSFERRING BACK TO UB!!!! Next semester we are totally meeting up and hanging out after too many long years!!"

GLORIOUS.

Seems she's going for a BA in FBI Secret Agent WhossaaWhasizz. All's I know is she gets to carry a gun and is allowed to throw people in the clink. I'm sooooo proud of her.

In great honor of mah Jennybean, lay your eyes on these wondrous photos from our collective dance recitals:



FIRST TAP COSTUMES EVER HOLLAAAAAA! And we're being normal for once, which is damn rare. Awwww, so very wee!!! The stage is 24,567 miles above our heads.



I'M SUCH A HAM. Apparently when the photographer lady said "strike a pose", I took that as act as whore-y as possible. F'reals, I sifted through thousands of candids from this year and in every one of them I am a total ho. Jen's adorable. She's making a #4 with her legs. Everyone else is boring. Go us.



We were about 7 and got a standing O for that jazz number. I remember that damn sun was in our eyes so much I had to perform with tearing eyes.

God, I miss this so much. If it wasn't for my asshat dad, I would still be with Dancentral. I miss my tan taps. It was so many moons ago that I was executing a perfect one-footed wing on the CFA stage.

Sniff.